Entry from Diary

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Again, I got faked out.

It came in a small envelope, marked New York Law School. It was small but pudgy, sticking out and full. I’m thinking, “Does it really take all of those words to say, ‘No thanks?'”

My surprise. They said yes.

Not only was I accepted at NYLS but they offered me a $10,000 annual scholarship. Peanuts to the average genius, but a very big deal to a broke man like myself. Even though it’s only about one-third of their tuition, it’s one-third I didn’t have yesterday.

I always liked my odds getting into NYLS. It’s a good school with a good reputation in entertainment law. Its diverse. I imagine the “What do you think about affirmative action?” question would come up less and less as opposed to the more conservative schools I’ve applied to.

And I got along well with their representatives at the Florida A&M University Law Day and Los Angeles Law Day, particularly their assistant dean of admissions. I liked him immediately. He was a demonstrative man with big ideas and funny ways of explaining them.

I also felt like my stats matched theirs. I think of my GPA and LSAT bracket, last year, 41 of 78 were admitted. So they were kinda my Litmus Test. If I don’t get in here, maybe I don’t deserve to go anywhere.

I also met with representatives at the University of Denver. I drove to Chicago, which is an 180-mile, two and a half hour trip. We talked about their school, my interest and my file.

I told them my interest stems from several things. Number one, my father grew up in East Denver. Number two, it’s further West, which is where I’d like to go. Also, their school has a solid Sports and Entertainment Law Society, something essential for an entertainment lawyer.

More importantly, we discussed my file and my departure from my previous job. They asked me if I was fired and I said no. They asked me was I asked to resign and I said no. I tried to focus the conversation on what I was feeling at the time, opposed to what I may be feeling now. The truth of the matter is, I left because I felt like I made a mistake. Point blank.

We’ll see what their response is. I’m trying to take ownership of my past. It seems like the more I do it, the more response I get from it. It definitely wasn’t my shining moment. But if I continue to learn from it, one day, it might help produce many others.

I’m also headed to the Univ. of Wisconsin this weekend. I’m going to take a tour, talk to the Dean of Admissions, sit in on a class, etc. Madison is like four hours from here, so I’m packed and ready to go. My car radio is kinda ghetto and only plays one CD per 12 hour interval, so I’ll think I’ll take some solid traveling music. Good hip-hop or some smooth soul music. Like MF Doom or Raphael Saadiq.

The time will do me good. I’ll have time to ask myself questions and rid myself of all the dumb responses I’d give if I wasn’t prepared.

I could use the time to contemplate the mess my financial aid review is. Wow, is this file screwed up. As an out-of-state student, who relied on loans, I have no idea how my loans blossomed to $200,000, including my parent’s loans. I think that’s mathematically impossible to have that much. I called my alma mater, the federal government, my lenders. None of them know how my records got so screwed up.

I don’t know either. I do know this though. This needs to be fixed. Now.

If not, law school is just a fantasy.

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